There's too many things i can't understand about life, about world..

Sometimes i wonder if i do something right
Sometimes i wonder about the result i got
Sometimes i wonder why doesn't God give me an answer...

Or maybe i got it already
I just can't accept the fact yet
That's why i keep making my own excuse
Not something that i need to hear
But something that i want to hear
Something that i want to understand
Something that i want to see...

Plot twist that life gives is too funny sometimes

P A I N

Sometimes i was wondering
What if i leave all of these behind
What if i just go somewhere really far and forget everything?
Can i feel better then?
Maybe if i can't feel anything, it would be better than get hurt
Who knows...

I told you, i'm scared of myself lately...

How can i get rid all these painful memories?

Should i really do what my head sometimes tell me to do?

I told you, i'm scared of myself lately...

HOW IT FELT LIKE

I still remember clearly
How it felt like to be with you
How it felt like hold your hands
How it felt like to hug you close to my heart
How it felt like crying together
How it felt like to let you go
How it felt like to say goodbye

I still remember clearly
How hurt it was when we said something to hurt each other
How hurt it was to make you believe that i love you with all my heart
How hurt it was to beg you not to leave
How hurt it was to see your back from a far

Knowing that you would bever turning back
To show me that smile once again
To share with me that laugh once again
Or shed the tears together for the last time..

Scariest Part

The scariest part of falling is

What if nobody catch you

@shatteredinthewind

I'm crying but nobody wants to understand
I'm screaming but everyone said stop crying now, i will be fine
But i'm not fine
I don't want to stop crying while it's the only thing that makes me feel a bit better
I just want people to listen
And said they understand
I just need someone to talk
Not to judge

SHATTERED IN THE WIND

Maybe one day you would read this message
Maybe tomorrow, next week,  next month or even next year

I just want to say thanks for everything
I was happy
Even today i feel grateful
I never regret anything
I still value it as the most precious thing i've ever had
Even maybe it's nothing for you now
Even maybe you're happier now
Maybe your days are in peace now
After you pushed me away
After you let me go

Maybe i hugged you too tight so you couldn't breathe
Maybe i held your hands too tight so you couldn't feel free
Maybe i love you too much...

It's ok,  as long as you're fine now
It's ok, eventhough it's really hard now

Yeah really hard...

You said you can imagine
But no,  you can't imagine it
How i broke into pieces now
How i shattered in the wind
How i should use all of my power just to say to everyone that i'm fine

While i cry every night in the darkness
How i feel like i'm drowning everytime i close my eyes
How i'm scared every morning when i wake up
Scared that i might feel hurt even more
Scared that i might feel even sadder
How my hands tremble everytime i try to forget you
How i'm choked everytime someone asked me about you
And how i want to say i'm alright,