There's too many things i can't understand about life, about world..

Sometimes i wonder if i do something right
Sometimes i wonder about the result i got
Sometimes i wonder why doesn't God give me an answer...

Or maybe i got it already
I just can't accept the fact yet
That's why i keep making my own excuse
Not something that i need to hear
But something that i want to hear
Something that i want to understand
Something that i want to see...

Plot twist that life gives is too funny sometimes

P A I N

Sometimes i was wondering
What if i leave all of these behind
What if i just go somewhere really far and forget everything?
Can i feel better then?
Maybe if i can't feel anything, it would be better than get hurt
Who knows...

I told you, i'm scared of myself lately...

How can i get rid all these painful memories?

Should i really do what my head sometimes tell me to do?

I told you, i'm scared of myself lately...

HOW IT FELT LIKE

I still remember clearly
How it felt like to be with you
How it felt like hold your hands
How it felt like to hug you close to my heart
How it felt like crying together
How it felt like to let you go
How it felt like to say goodbye

I still remember clearly
How hurt it was when we said something to hurt each other
How hurt it was to make you believe that i love you with all my heart
How hurt it was to beg you not to leave
How hurt it was to see your back from a far

Knowing that you would bever turning back
To show me that smile once again
To share with me that laugh once again
Or shed the tears together for the last time..

Scariest Part

The scariest part of falling is

What if nobody catch you

@shatteredinthewind

I'm crying but nobody wants to understand
I'm screaming but everyone said stop crying now, i will be fine
But i'm not fine
I don't want to stop crying while it's the only thing that makes me feel a bit better
I just want people to listen
And said they understand
I just need someone to talk
Not to judge

SHATTERED IN THE WIND

Maybe one day you would read this message
Maybe tomorrow, next week,  next month or even next year

I just want to say thanks for everything
I was happy
Even today i feel grateful
I never regret anything
I still value it as the most precious thing i've ever had
Even maybe it's nothing for you now
Even maybe you're happier now
Maybe your days are in peace now
After you pushed me away
After you let me go

Maybe i hugged you too tight so you couldn't breathe
Maybe i held your hands too tight so you couldn't feel free
Maybe i love you too much...

It's ok,  as long as you're fine now
It's ok, eventhough it's really hard now

Yeah really hard...

You said you can imagine
But no,  you can't imagine it
How i broke into pieces now
How i shattered in the wind
How i should use all of my power just to say to everyone that i'm fine

While i cry every night in the darkness
How i feel like i'm drowning everytime i close my eyes
How i'm scared every morning when i wake up
Scared that i might feel hurt even more
Scared that i might feel even sadder
How my hands tremble everytime i try to forget you
How i'm choked everytime someone asked me about you
And how i want to say i'm alright,

People Come and Go

How It Feels Like?

It's Stupid I Know

TRAGIC

What If You Are?

Broke Into Pieces

They said it's time for me to give up

They said it's time for me to let things go

They said it's time for me to let you go

But i still want to try

Even if it hurts me so bad

It's just funny to think that maybe a feeling can change that fast

While I'm still in the same place 

In the same place before you leave 

Try so hard to feel your existence in the wind... 

FAR AWAY

I ask myself sometimes, 

What if a hand that you gave to me to hold 

you take it back

I will be lost,  i think

More than before

I ask myself sometimes,

What if everything that I've been believing would shattered into pieces

Leave me nothing but an empty home

I will be fall,  i think

Harder than before

I ask myself sometimes 

What if suddenly you want to give up

And let those beautiful dreams vanish along with the wind

I will be devastated, i think

But i least i try

Didn't i tell you that i love you? 

Where To Go?

Sometimes we need to blame someone they said

To make things become bearable 

To make things feel easier

To make things sound reasonable

But there are times when we have to blame ourself

Because we can't find any other way to feel better

Because we're too scared that  we're not strong enough to carry on

Because we're too tired to waiting for a miracle... 

Million Reasons

It's not because i want to do this

It's because i have to do this

It's not because i'm giving up

It's because i have to give up

It's not because it's easy for me

It's because i don't have another choice 

It's not because i hate you

It's because i like you too much

It's not because i want to stop

It's because i know that i have to stop

It's not because i'm not sad

It's because i'm too sad

It's not because i want to hurt you

It's because i have to protect my heart

Before things are getting worse

Before we hurt each other more

Before we ruin all those precious memories 

And it's not because i don't want to talk

It's because i don't think i have any right to talk

And it's not because i don't miss you

It's because i think it's the best for you

I'm too sad

I'm really really sad

NEVERLAND

I know all i'm doing is wandering around

In this no man's land

Somewhere far, far from anything

Even too far from my mind.

I've been looking for a way home

A road to lead me back to my existence 

A road that give me light to go home.

But i know i'm just wandering around

Over and over again

I'm tired, i noticed that but i have no choice 

I have to go back 

I have to go back to my comfort zone

It's not that i lost something 

It's just everything goes back to where it used to be

😂

Let me take a break laugh at myself!

To-do-list

Protect yourself, protect your heart

Move out from the circle you created for yourself

Stop blaming others everytime you feel down

Don't believe in others too easily

Don't believe in sweet words easily

Remember that you can't force people to have the same feeling

Remember that your feeling is your own problem

Remember that others would easily bring you down

Know when to stop

Move on! 

STOP RIGHT NOW

Kamu tahu dari awal tak semua yang kau inginkan bisa jadi kenyataan kan? 

Kamu sudah tahu dari awal tak semua hal bisa berakhir indah kan? 

Kamu tahu dari awal bahwa hidup bukanlah sebuah pertunjukkan dimana kau bisa mengubah skenario sekehendak hatimu kan?  Kamu tahu dari awal...